ok....so then I'll do this one:
Did you hear about the insomniac-agnostic-dyslexic?
He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." ~Voltaire
Smoldering Wick
JoinedPosts by Smoldering Wick
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Athiest-JW cross
by RunningMan inof all places, i recently found a joke about jw's at www.skeptic.com, which showed up in a debate between michael shermer and hugh ross.. what do you get if you cross a jehovah's witness with an athiest?
someone who knocks on your door for no reason at all.. just thought i would let you know that they're thinking about us.
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A Public Plea for Online Auctioneers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by VioletAnai inplease, please, please remember to check those photos before posting your product!!!!!!!!!.
i bid $2.50!.
euw..... .
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Smoldering Wick
tea kettle- tea kettle- tea kettle-tea
I think that thing is looking at me!"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." ~Voltaire
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A Public Plea for Online Auctioneers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by VioletAnai inplease, please, please remember to check those photos before posting your product!!!!!!!!!.
i bid $2.50!.
euw..... .
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Smoldering Wick
Yahoooooooooooooo
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." ~Voltaire
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A really, really weird question......
by VioletAnai inok, don't think i'm nuts, but i have a rather personal question to ask you.
it's just that i saw a kid do this and i've never seen it in my life, and then a friend told me it happens to her too...every time.... ok, so the question is:.
do you shed tears and get a runny nose when doing number two?.
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Smoldering Wick
LOL SW - Thats is really gross -Angharad
You looked??? How Apostate-like of you...looking despite the warnings! I'm really glad my mother doesn't have Internet access! *sigh*
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." ~Voltaire
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Smoldering Wick
This was fun...I think I'll go have a seizure now.
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." ~Voltaire
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A really, really weird question......
by VioletAnai inok, don't think i'm nuts, but i have a rather personal question to ask you.
it's just that i saw a kid do this and i've never seen it in my life, and then a friend told me it happens to her too...every time.... ok, so the question is:.
do you shed tears and get a runny nose when doing number two?.
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Smoldering Wick
I'm kinda glad that link didn't work...but, if you really want to see it right click, copy properties and paste "
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A really, really weird question......
by VioletAnai inok, don't think i'm nuts, but i have a rather personal question to ask you.
it's just that i saw a kid do this and i've never seen it in my life, and then a friend told me it happens to her too...every time.... ok, so the question is:.
do you shed tears and get a runny nose when doing number two?.
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Smoldering Wick
To be "poo"fectly honest...you guys "crack" me up & it's about "stinkin" time!
No wonder Ü guys ain't J-Dubs no more...y'alls sick!
I remember being on "Sister's Room" patrol at the Houston Astrodome during the District Convention...there must have been 36 stalls in that bathroom! By the end of the day, I was green from all the noxious fumes! I wish I would have had this at the time...
Ways to annoy your Public Bathroom Stallmate
http://www.biznich.net/toilet.htmlOk in line with the "tears while pooin" discussion...this was just WRONG...if you hate gross stuff don't click here:
Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout
the entire performance. -
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WHAT Kingdom Hall did Ya'll go to?
by thewiz ini was looking at another thread.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=24809&site=3.
and was wondering,if i'm not being too forward, what kh did everyone here go to.. i used to go to the cranston kh in ri, usa .
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Obessed with sex?
by DB innow that i have your attention....really, this is about sex.. this week's issue of newsweek contains an interesting commentary by anna quinlan, found on the last page, that deals with the catholic church's priestly sex scandal and how, for so many years, repressive teachings by the church in matters realting to human sexuality have been very counter-productive and have missed the mark badly while the church at the same time tried to cover-up cases of pedophilia among priests.
examples given include teachings like no divorce (while people suffer in bad marriages), no birth control (thus teaching that sex is not be engaged in simply for pleasure but with the purpose of procreation), and so on.
and yet in the meantime, they obviously missed the boat on the whole problem of sex abuse within their own priesthood.. while jw teachings are not as repressive, at times i have noticed a seeming obsession, if one might call it that, among some jws in matters of a sexual nature.
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Smoldering Wick
DB...It would take me a year to read through all the stuff the Society has printed on SEX...and it's so ever changing!
Why take oral sex for example:
http://quotes.jehovahswitnesses.com/oral.htm"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." ~Voltaire
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Obessed with sex?
by DB innow that i have your attention....really, this is about sex.. this week's issue of newsweek contains an interesting commentary by anna quinlan, found on the last page, that deals with the catholic church's priestly sex scandal and how, for so many years, repressive teachings by the church in matters realting to human sexuality have been very counter-productive and have missed the mark badly while the church at the same time tried to cover-up cases of pedophilia among priests.
examples given include teachings like no divorce (while people suffer in bad marriages), no birth control (thus teaching that sex is not be engaged in simply for pleasure but with the purpose of procreation), and so on.
and yet in the meantime, they obviously missed the boat on the whole problem of sex abuse within their own priesthood.. while jw teachings are not as repressive, at times i have noticed a seeming obsession, if one might call it that, among some jws in matters of a sexual nature.
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Smoldering Wick
Is the Watchtower obsessed with Sex?...um yeah.
A quick search of “Sex” on the Watchtower CD pulled up 4,194 references. From the Watchtower index alone there were 415 “Sex” topics. There was even a story in 1987 Watchtower about a demon having demon phone sex with a 17 year old girl!
w87 9/1 4 - **Asamaja Amelia, a middle-aged woman in Suriname, was 17 years old when she first became involved in divination, a form of spiritism. Since her predictions came true and inquirers benefited from her advice, she was highly esteemed in her community. (Compare Acts 16:16.) But one thing troubled her.
Notice the “See also” categories from the Watchtower:
"The spirits that spoke through me were kind to those who sought their help," she says, "but at the same time they made my life miserable. After each sitting, I felt beaten up and could hardly move. When night fell, I hoped for some rest, but the spirits did not leave me alone. They kept disturbing me, talking to me and keeping me awake. And the things they said!" She sighs and looks down, shaking her head in aversion. "They loved to talk about sex and insisted on having relations with me. It was shocking. I was married. I did not want to be unfaithful and told them so. It did not help. Once an invisible force overpowered me, touched and squeezed my body, and even bit me. I felt wretched."SEX
The “Society” seems to constantly bring sex up and then tell everyone BUT don’t DO IT! Sort of like showing a child a jar of his favorite candy and saying…sorry, it looks delicious and all but it will kill you, you CAN’T have it! As soon as that parent’s back is turned, do you think that kid will eat the candy? Um, yeah. Then think of all the guilt imposed on that little child…constantly having to worry that he’ll now die because he ate the forbidden candy!
(See also Adultery; Birth Control; Chasteness; Child Abuse; Childbearing; Contraception; Fornication; Genetics; Heredity; Homosexuality; Immorality; Marriage; Masturbation; Porneia; Pornography; Pregnancy; Premarital Sex; Procreation; Prostitution; Rape; Reproduction; Sexually Transmitted Diseases [STD])Let’s examine some of the Watchtower quotes and how sex is always equated with really bad stuff (like the demon quote above!)…I did not even get a quarter way through the “A’s” in the index listing and was exhausted (and aroused).
*g93 7/22 22 **Nevertheless, you do yourself harm if you deliberately nurture sexual thoughts. Dwelling on sexual fantasies increases wrong desires. It can lead to masturbation-or to actual sexual immorality.
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." ~Voltaire*w88 3/15 17 - **But if we are not very careful to exercise self-control, we may transgress because of fleshly weaknesses and bring reproach upon Jehovah's name. Thus, a few years ago an elder committed adultery with a spiritual sister who had an unbelieving husband. On the evening that the disfellowshipping of the former elder was announced, the infuriated husband strode into the Kingdom Hall with a shotgun and fired shots at the two guilty individuals.
*g88 11/8 30 - **Sexual addiction includes compulsive behavior at various levels, from compulsive masturbation to sexual fetishes, to sadomasochistic practices, and to compulsive heterosexual and homosexual encounters. The Journal continues: "It is the compulsive behavior that is a major factor in the spread of AIDS"-the disease of almost certain death.
*g94 7/22 26 - **While erotic thoughts may come into the mind from time to time, dwelling on them may turn into a near-obsession, and then serious problems develop.
*g94 7/22 26 - **Masturbation is an unclean habit to be avoided by Christians and is the very opposite of 'deadening sexual appetite.'
*g94 8/8 18 - **Similarly, you may have to get tough with yourself when thoughts about the opposite sex try to take root. If the thoughts persist, try some physical exercise.
*g94 2/8 16 - **The Bible condemns those who take liberties with the opposite sex. What some might brush off as "harmless" petting may amount to what the Bible calls uncleanness, loose conduct, or even fornication. These are serious wrongs that could lead to expulsion from the Christian congregation.-Galatians 5:19, 21
*g94 2/8 16 - **Toying with sexual immorality is therefore not something to be taken lightly. It is a "defilement of flesh and spirit"-something that could seriously damage your relationship with God. (2 Corinthians 7:1)
*g94 2/8 16-17 - **One who goes too far in displays of affection can suffer emotional harm. This is because, as an article in Seventeen magazine reminds us, "the different ways people can touch each other . . . can be just as intimate and intense as intercourse is." So whereas kissing and petting may be physically exciting, girls in particular may find that the experience leaves them feeling empty and hollow emotionally. The Journal of Marriage and the Family notes: "Women report feelings of fear, guilt, anxiety, embarrassment, and even disgust."
*g94 2/8 18 - ** toying with immorality has serious consequences and can even cost a Christian his or her hope for eternal life in God's new world
*g94 3/22 18 - **What if a couple does fall into improper conduct? A young man named John says: "When my fiancée and I first started courting, our conduct was clean and kept on a high level. But one time we started kissing and petting-almost to the point of committing fornication. It was then that I decided to speak with one of the elders in my congregation." Yes, when a couple allows things to go that far, both need help! Do not deceive yourself into thinking you can solve the problem alone. "I'd pray, 'Help us not to do it again,'" confesses one youth. "Sometimes it would work, but a few times it didn't." The Bible thus gives good advice when it says: "Call the older men of the congregation." (James 5:14) These Christian overseers can give whatever counsel, advice, or reproof is necessary to get your relationship with each other-and, more important, with God-back on track.